Storyline Revisions...

• Flashback goes to a year or so after Beowulf has slain Grendel's Mother. He has already returned to his hometown and after being there for such a short time it is requested by his King to go and slay a monster in Modern day Iceland. The monsters name has yet to be set in stone, but the image is almost like a berserker very large super strong and surprisingly fast.  

I think this scene should be cut. Begin the flashback with Beowulf and his men already on the boat. Everything in this scene can be explained with a single line, perhaps spoken by Beowulf to the woman when they're making their introductions.

I like this idea a lot. I wouldn't have Beowulf speak to the woman about this maybe one of his comrades. 


• He heads off on this journey on the way his boat and men come across another boat of merchants with a woman on board. She immediately gains the attention of Beowulf because she is dressed like a warrior. He asks her where she is headed and she goes on to tell him of how she awoke on the boat without a memory of who she was. Her only memory is of a man telling her to defeat the "Berserker"(She doesn't even know what power the monster possesses she is only driven by the urge to find out more about her past.)
• Beowulf tells her that his mission was also to kill the beast, and that he aimed to do it alone, but would be willing to bring her along. She is set on defeating the beast before him. So now they have begun traveling together and out of mere curiosity of her warrior skills Beowulf challenges her to spar. (Now I have yet to decide whether or not they should tie during this battle. Or if she should barely win.) 

I don't think Beowulf should invite her along, at least not at first. He should even dismiss her. Maybe she can stowaway on Beowulf's boat, and they'll encounter her after running into each other on their separate travels. Then they duel, develop a respect for each other, and then decide to travel together. Right now it reads as too friendly to me, and friendly = boring.
And I think Beowulf should win their first duel, but barely. She does well enough that he appreciates her prowess in battle. And it would give greater punch to her saving him from the beast later.

I like the idea of Beowulf winning just barely, and acknowledging her skills as a warrior. But I'm not so sure If I want him to dismiss her. Only because I want this battle with the first enemy to be one they encounter together...Maybe he could dismiss her and see her in Iceland, maybe she has beaten him there and has yet to encounter the beast, but is preparing? Then they could go together. 

• They arrive to Iceland and are greeted and they are given time to rest and gather themselves, before told of the beast by the kings wife, because the King died trying to fight the beast only days before. (This is another part I'm unsure of. Would it be unrealistic at the time for this king to try and take on the beast after all his men have died trying.) 

I'm not sure what the king's wife is for. We've established that the beast killed a bunch of men, and she seems to be here only to tell us what we already know. And why would the king go off to fight the beast when he's just sent Beowulf to do it for him?

The kings wife will greet them, accomadate them and all that. They heard of the beast and she is just used to give more details about the beast and all the chaos he has caused, like although Beowulf heard tales of Grendel, Hrothgar greeted him, gave him more information and the two devised a plan together. And as far as the King going off to battle I hadn't questioned that. Maybe his reasoning could be that he was unsure If Beowulf would come, or out of his drive to protect his people he tried to fight the beast. He was a viking, so this king has seen many battles, so he isn't incapable of defeating a enemy, that would just emphasize how monstrous this beast is. Maybe I'm thinking about this wrong though....

• They go back and Kill the Beast and killing the beast gives her a glimpse of her past as royalty. 

What causes this glimpse, exactly? Does she have to be royalty? What does that add to the story?

Maybe the spirit of the beast, can trigger it. I'm not sure how to explain it but I can visualize how this scene would go...

• The story then goes back to him lying down and I haven't quite figured out how but I want to leave it with a cliffhanger, to lead into a tale about her story. Maybe Wiglaf knows information about the mysterious woman Beowulf fell in love with. I also want to leave the story with readers not knowing if he died.(I'm not sure if this would work much only because in the original poem he dies, so would it be to ridiculous for me to leave that cliffhanger in there?) 

This is a good question. Do we need to show Beowulf dying? And on that note, does Beowulf need to have this flashback on his deathbed? Could the intro and epilogue take place during a different part of the poem, a part that's more thematically significant? Maybe right before he faces Grendel or the dragon?

Changing the beginning and where the flashback begins, would take away some of that drama, or would it not?

Progress

I have read over your suggestions, and I will look over and consider all your suggestions. I plan on updating this blog every Monday and Thursday to help both me and you all. I recently met with Clayton Cowles this past Saturday and he and I went over my story line and plans for the final presentation he proposed the Idea that rather than printing the comic, which would cost money. Prices would vary depending on where I go, but instead of that I could show you all virtually which would be no different than printing, the comic is still made and the handwork will still show. I had to write up a letter of everything I have done up until now, which I will be sending to you all soon. I also met with my other expert on Monday and we further discussed story ideas and we spoke a bit about Clayton suggestions, as well as ways I can upload images.

Story Outline

NOTE: There are gaps and areas I plan on going more in depth with. This is only a overview. 

• It starts off showing Beowulf lying on the ground in the arms of wiglaf. Blood spewing from his mouth. Slain dragon in the Background. He's reminiscing to wiglaf regretting some of his actions. 
• Flashback goes to a year or so after Beowulf has slain Grendel's Mother. He has already returned to his hometown and after being there for such a short time it is requested by his King to go and slay a monster in Modern day Iceland. The monsters name has yet to be set in stone, but the image is almost like a berserker very large super strong and surprisingly fast. 
• He heads off on this journey on the way his boat and men come across another boat of merchants with a woman on board. She immediately gains the attention of Beowulf because she is dressed like a warrior. He asks her where she is headed and she goes on to tell him of how she awoke on the boat without a memory of who she was. Her only memory is of a man telling her to defeat the "Berserker"(She doesn't even know what power the monster possesses she is only driven by the urge to find out more about her past.)
• Beowulf tells her that his mission was also to kill the beast, and that he aimed to do it alone, but would be willing to bring her along. She is set on defeating the beast before him. So now they have begun traveling together and out of mere curiosity of her warrior skills Beowulf challenges her to spar. (Now I have yet to decide whether or not they should tie during this battle. Or if she should barely win.)
• They arrive to Iceland and are greeted and they are given time to rest and gather themselves, before told of the beast by the kings wife, because the King died trying to fight the beast only days before. (This is another part I'm unsure of. Would it be unrealistic at the time for this king to try and take on the beast after all his men have died trying.)
• They are taken to the beast and Beowulf attacks it but is surprised by the speed of the beast and is easily grabbed, the claws of the beast act like blades cutting up Beowulfs arms in the process.This is when the woman saves him. She saves him by cutting the calf of the beast causing him to fall. Then they retreat and devise a plan to take on the beast together after Beowulf has healed. 
• They go back and Kill the Beast and killing the beast gives her a glimpse of her past as royalty. 
• After slaying the beast they are given many rewards, then unsure of what she will do next Beowulf asks her to adventure with him with the hope that he can help her find out who she is. 
• They adventure and fight lots of monsters and battle together and throughout it fall in love. 
• Then during one battle which I haven't completely figured out how I want it to go she dies. And he feels useless and worthless, he was unable to protect the most important person to him, and vows to never look for love again. 
• Then he is offered the throne which he denies still feeling he can't be a proper king to the people. He eventually takes the throne only after the current King is killed in battle. He feels although he is unfit for the position the people want him as their leader.
• The story then goes back to him lying down and I haven't quite figured out how but I want to leave it with a cliffhanger, to lead into a tale about her story. Maybe Wiglaf knows information about the mysterious woman Beowulf fell in love with. I also want to leave the story with readers not knowing if he died.(I'm not sure if this would work much only because in the original poem he dies, so would it be to ridiculous for me to leave that cliffhanger in there?)

Post #4

I was thinking more about the story and this main heroine, and I want to take more of the fantasy rather than historically accurate route. Although a lot of this stuff will be historically accurate I want it to be more imaginative rather than realistic. If I go this route the name Leto would work and maybe she could even have superpowers of some sort. And being that I want this to be something I could continue in the future, I'm planning on skimming over her back story. And to only give a little bit of information about her history. Also I kinda want the ending to have a bit of a cliffhanger to make readers upset as well as anxious for the next issues.

So break has finally come to an end and over break I drew, quiet alot. I am still unable to put the images on this blog because I don't have a scanner. But aside from drawings I have set in stone how and where I want my story to go I still have some gaps though and I'm not sure how I want the ending. You can expect the story plot or story outline to be posted within the next couple of days. I met with the vice principle who told me it seems as though I haven't been making enough progress. And she has requested that another meeting is scheduled where all members are present. When would be the best date and time for you all? Any time and place I can make work. As for the work that I have done as I said I have practiced on the artistic side as well as reading to better my understand of how stories flow, mainly graphic novels. I will post the story line up on this blog in a bullet format and I would appreciate all the criticism and suggestions you all give. I didn't update the blog over break because I didn't feel it a necessity, I was under the assumption that two posts where to be made every school week. A requirement that I have made since the creating of this post. All the other dates and goals I have set for my self I am on track for, the next thing due is a written summary of my work on the 16th. Me aiming to have the storyline up in early june was me going above and beyond the primary goals.  Clayton I have read over your comment and I understand completely would you mean as far as emulating other artists, and If you all feel the name should be changes, it can easily be fixed.